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This article was co-authored by Candice Mostisser and by wikiHow staff writer, Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA. Candice Mostisser is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingman/wingwoman services, 1-on-1 coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. She specializes in coaching others on best practices and strategies to succeed on first dates and in the online dating world.
There are 11 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 1,272,152 times.

Hooking up with a girl can be fun for both you and her, as long as you're both into it. If you're feeling bold, flirt with girls you meet in person to see if they're interested in a casual hookup. Alternatively, connect with girls through dating apps so you can flirt with multiple girls at once. When you've found a girl who seems to be interested, invite her to meet up in private for a potential hook-up.

Steps

Method 1 of 3:
Flirting with Girls in Person

  1. 1
    Make eye contact and smile at a girl you like to get her attention. When you see a girl who interests you, look her in the eyes and hold her gaze for 2-3 seconds. While you’re making eye contact, flash her a big grin to let her know you’re interested in her.[1]
    • Say something like, “Hey, I couldn’t help but notice you from across the room,” “Hi! Can I get your advice on what to order?” or “Hey, I'm Todd. How's it going?”
    • If a girl isn’t looking at you or seems uninterested in talking, she’s probably not going to want to hookup with you. It’s best to start looking for someone else who might be more into it.
  2. 3
    Touch her lightly on her arm, shoulder, or back while talking to her. Touching is a great way to flirt. As you talk to her, make first contact by touching her forearm or shoulder. If she seems comfortable with the touch, try touching her again.[3]
    • If she pulls away, it’s likely that she’s not interested in sex at the moment. That’s totally okay! Say something like, “It’s been great getting to know you, but I need to get back to my friend,” or “It was nice meeting you, but I’ll let you get back to your night.” Then, start looking for another girl.
  3. 4
    Watch for signs she may be interested in you. Notice if she's smiling a lot and has nervous body language, such as fidgeting, shifting around, and twirling her hair. Additionally, consider how often she touches you, like brushing your arm or leaning against you. If she's into you, she'll likely act giddy and will probably find reasons to touch you.[5]
    • If she's acting nervous and she's frowning, it's more likely that she's not interested. It's best to give her space and focus on finding someone else.
  4. 5
    Be yourself when you’re talking to her. You really want to impress this girl, so it’s understandable that you’d want to use a pick-up line or pretend to be someone you’re not. However, most girls find this to be a big turn-off. You’re more likely to find a girl who’s interested in having sex with you if you let her get to know you. Just talk to her about you’re interests and what you’re doing with your life.[7]
    • You might ask questions like, “What do you do in your free time?” “What are your career goals?” or “What bands are you listening to now?”
  5. 7
    Compliment her appearance so she feels good about herself. Girls are more interested in sex when they’re feeling confident about their looks. Additionally, giving compliments shows a girl you’re interested in her.[9]
    • Say something like, “You have a really beautiful smile,” or “You look stunning in this dress.”

    Warning: Stick to 1 or 2 compliments. If you shower her with compliments, she’ll likely get uncomfortable and pull away from you.

  6. 8
    Wait until she feels comfortable before bringing up sex. You might have sex on your mind, but it’s best to keep that to yourself. Talking about sex too early in a conversation is usually a big turn off. Keep your conversation casual until she’s talking freely and seems comfortable with you.[11]
  7. 10
    Don't get pushy if she's not interested. You may be tempted to keep flirting with her in the hopes that she'll change her mind, but it's important to respect her wishes. If she is pulling away from you, tells you she's not interested in something casual, or directly tells you to leave her alone, stop pursuing her and turn your attention to someone else. Otherwise, she may feel like you're harassing her.[14]
  8. 11
    Tell her that you’d like to be alone with her. When you’re sure things are going well, it’s time to bring up the idea of a hookup. The best way to do this is to suggest you go somewhere you can be alone. This will signal to her that you’re interested in things getting more physical. If she’s interested, she’ll likely agree to go somewhere you can be alone.[15]
  9. 3
    Use protection to prevent pregnancy and STDs. Hooking up can be super fun, but it’s important to avoid potential complications. Talk to the girl before you become intimate to decide what kind of protection you'll use. Ask her if she is currently on birth control pills, has received a birth control shot, or has an intrauterine device (IUD) to prevent pregnancy. Additionally, wear a condom or dental dam to protect you against sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).[26]
    • Go slow at first. Give her a light kiss and gauge her reaction.
    • Don’t use tongue when you first start kissing her. Build up to it so she doesn’t feel like you’re rushing things.
  10. 5
    Engage in foreplay to help her get turned on. She’s going to be more interested in a hookup if she feels sexually excited. Don’t rush things by trying to start intercourse too soon. Instead, take your time to caress her, kiss her body, and rub against her. This will help her get into the mood for sex.[28]
  11. 7
    Make sure that the girl gets home safely after your hook-up. Both your and her experience will be better if you part on good terms. Show her that you care about her health and well-being by helping her get home. Offer to drive her home or to call her a ride if she can't drive herself home. If she's got her car and feels comfortable driving herself home, walk her to her car and ask her to text when she gets home.[30]
  12. 8
    Text her the next day to check on her. While you might not be interested in a relationship, it's still important to be kind to the girl you hooked-up with. Tell her that you enjoyed meeting her and had a good time. Additionally, ask her if she had a nice time so she feels like you care about her.[31]
  13. You don't have to have a long conversation with her. However, sending a check-up text shows her that you don't just see her as an object.

Community Q&A

Add New Question
  • How do I know if a girl wants to hook up?
    Candice Mostisser is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingman/wingwoman services, 1-on-1 coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. She specializes in coaching others on best practices and strategies to succeed on first dates and in the online dating world.
    Dating Coach
    Don't be afraid to ask her upfront about it. More subtle signs might be her moving closer to you and flirting.
  • Can I get back a girl who has friend-zoned me?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    Staff Answer
    If a girl only wants to be friends with you, it's important to respect her decision. It hurts to feel rejected, but she can't change the way she feels. Remember, you've probably disappointed a few girls who like you but are in your friend-zone. It's best to focus on girls who you like and like you back.
  • What if I find that she's into feet? Do I still proceed to have sex or should I leave?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    Staff Answer
    There's nothing weird or wrong about having a foot fetish. At the same time, it's up to you to decide what you're comfortable with. If she's making you uncomfortable, tell her that something came up and you need to leave. Otherwise, go ahead and have sex with her.
  • What if I approach her with a kiss and she rejects me? What should I do?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    Staff Answer
    First, don't try to kiss her until you're both comfortable with being intimate. That means you've been talking to her, you have a connection, and she's agreed to continue things in private. If she pulls away or tells you not to kiss her, respect her wishes and give her space. Say, 'I'm sorry, I think I misread your signals.'
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Tips

  • Accept rejection with grace. Respect her decision to say “no” and look for someone who’s a better match for you.
    Thanks!
  • If the girl is a friend or coworker, consider how your relationship might change after you hook up. It’s possible that everything will go back to normal, but be sure to think things through just in case your relationship with the girl becomes awkward.
    Thanks!

Warnings

  • Having sex with a girl who cannot give consent is rape. If a girl is drunk, unconscious, or otherwise incapable of consenting to sex, don't have sex with her. It’s wrong and you may go to jail.
    Thanks!
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References

Free Hook Up With Women
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/valley-girl-brain/201203/how-flirt-without-it-seeming-youre-flirting
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/valley-girl-brain/201203/how-flirt-without-it-seeming-youre-flirting
  3. Candice Mostisser. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.
  4. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201402/how-flirt-and-be-attractive
  5. Candice Mostisser. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.
  6. https://www.datingadvice.com/for-men/signs-a-girl-likes-you
  7. https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/gentleman-s-guide-to-hookups.html
  8. https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/gentleman-s-guide-to-hookups.html
  9. Candice Mostisser. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.
  1. https://www.glamour.com/gallery/sex-tips-kissing-and-hooking-up-tips
  2. https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/gentleman-s-guide-to-hookups.html
  3. Candice Mostisser. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.
  4. https://www.gq.com/story/boys-just-wanna-have-fun
  5. https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/gentleman-s-guide-to-hookups.html
  6. https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/gentleman-s-guide-to-hookups.html
  7. https://www.thecut.com/article/best-hookup-apps.html
  8. https://datingxp.co/how-to-hookup-on-tinder/
  9. https://datingxp.co/how-to-hookup-on-tinder/
  10. https://www.gq.com/story/boys-just-wanna-have-fun
  11. https://www.gq.com/story/boys-just-wanna-have-fun
  12. https://datingxp.co/how-to-hookup-on-tinder/
  13. https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/gentleman-s-guide-to-hookups.html
  14. https://datingxp.co/how-to-hookup-on-tinder/
  15. https://www.gq.com/story/boys-just-wanna-have-fun
  16. https://www.gq.com/story/boys-just-wanna-have-fun
  17. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3613286/
  18. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3613286/
  19. https://www.glamour.com/gallery/sex-tips-kissing-and-hooking-up-tips
  20. https://www.gq.com/story/put-the-seat-down
  21. https://www.gq.com/story/put-the-seat-down
  22. https://www.gq.com/story/put-the-seat-down

About This Article

Dating Coach
This article was co-authored by Candice Mostisser and by wikiHow staff writer, Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA. Candice Mostisser is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingman/wingwoman services, 1-on-1 coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. She specializes in coaching others on best practices and strategies to succeed on first dates and in the online dating world. This article has been viewed 1,272,152 times.
15 votes - 54%

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Updated: July 19, 2021
Categories: Flirting
Article SummaryX

To hook up with a girl you like, first flirt with her a bit by complimenting her on her appearance. While you're talking to her, make sure you face her and maintain good eye contact so she knows you're interested. When she flirts back, try asking her out on a date for food or a fun activity. If the date goes well and she seems to be having a good time, invite her back to your place to hang out. When you’re back at your place, flirt with her by complimenting her and lightly touching her arm or leg. If she touches you back or leans toward you, kiss her to take it up a gear. Then slowly touch her more intimately to see if she’s open to sex. For more tips, including how to get a girl you like interested in you, read on!

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